Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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