I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
