When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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