Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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