I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
