I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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