Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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