and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
