I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have peed in a lot of sinks
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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