Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
