we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
