Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can text with my tongue
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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