The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
