I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
4 words: hood of his car
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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