Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
