He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
