My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
