did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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