Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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