Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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