Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
