I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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