It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
