Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
