You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
