I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Enjoy the penises
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
