Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
