i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
