He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
