apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
