So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
