I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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