I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
