I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
