So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
