I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
