I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
