from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
