We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
