I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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