Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
