I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
