are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
