happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
