I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
These tits shall not be calmed
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