Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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