NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
