the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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