I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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