do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
