i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
