I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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