i barfeds in our rink
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
