the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
