omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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