Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
