My boss' voice literally gives me gas
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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