WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
