i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize