you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
