totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
