So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
